but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Randomize
