Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
Randomize
