I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Randomize
