too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
