I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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