Those balls look pretty dangerous.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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