Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
two words: eviction party
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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