so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
