I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
