Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
