The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
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