He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
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