Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Randomize
