Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
