WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
