Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
false alarm, still single
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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