Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
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