so that wasnt chicken after all
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
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