You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
