Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
It's just like the Real World with babies
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
