Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
it's too hot outside to masturbate.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Randomize
