ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
