We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
you told grandpa to call you daddy
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Randomize
