Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
