i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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