I hope mine doesn't look like that
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
people are starting to question the shark bite story
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
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