why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
the gays at disneyland are vicious
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
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