At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
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