remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
one might say we're banned from that church
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Randomize
