You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
Randomize