i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
Every concussion has its silver lining
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
