you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
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