I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
did i just pee glitter
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
