It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
where are my eyebrows?
Randomize
