NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Randomize
