I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Randomize
