a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize
