She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Randomize
