Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Randomize
