I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
