we have officially lost it.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
