Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
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