Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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