I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
