i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
Randomize
