In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
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