come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
Did we literally take a cab across the street
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
