If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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