...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
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