I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
