Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
Randomize
