"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
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Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
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